Rules of Competitive Battling

It\'s like the Rules of Internet, minus the /b/!

1. Your team has a Metang weakness. No exceptions.
2. Play to win or STFU.
3. Everything can learn weird moves.
4. Everything is scarfed. No exceptions.
5. Think about Bissey.
6. Seaking. No further explanation required.
7. Farfetch'd is not good. Stop trying.
8. Hax!
9. Everyone has a Garchomp. No exceptions.
10. Emo X always loses. No excpetions.
11. Wobbufett vs Wobbufett is the best battle ever. No exceptions.
12. Sableye is not used except with Wonder Guard.
13. Dunsparce is the best Pokemon. Live with it, or he\'ll kill you.
14. Cute pokemon are weak. No exceptions.
15. Emo X is always wrong. No exceptions.
16. Kaiser is a whiny bitch. No exceptions.
17. There\'s always a bigger fish, and it\'s name is Seaking.
18. If you can\'t understand what your Pokemon is saying when it says \'Pika-pika!\' you are a horrible, heartless trainer.
19. Jewz break Wi-Fi.
20. Male Gardevoir must ALWAYS have \"Show Cock\" as their main attack. It\'s 4x against all types. Seaking is the exception.
21. Lucario is ALWAYS gay.
22. Every time you slaughter a cute Pokémon, a Goldeen becomes a Seaking.
23. The connection is NEVER \"lost\"
24. No one expects the CB Jirachi Inquisition. No exceptions.
25. Garchomp always wins. No exceptions.
26. You DO liek mudkip. No exceptions.
27. Splash owns you. Deal with it.
28. Pakry sucks at making rules.
29. Garchomp always has Flamethrower, Dragon Claw, Earthquake, Outrage, Fire Blast, Dragon Rush, Draco Meteor, Crunch, Stone Edge, Swords Dance, Surf, Fire Fang, and Substitute. No exceptions.
30. Hidden Power is ALWAYS haxed
31. Whenever you suggest a counter to something, remember that there are always three layers of spikes, two layers of toxic spikes, and stealth rock up plus a sandstorm is brewing. No exceptions.
32. [Your Pokemon]'s attack missed! No exceptions.
33. [Your Pokemon] fainted! No exceptions.
34. But it failed. No exceptions.
35. In tall grass, a wild Seaking will ALWAYS appear. Because Seaking is coming for you.
36. False Swipe is the only 100% accurate OHKO move.
37. Spinda. Do I need to explain more?
38. A Luvdisc Tackle is the ultimate counter to every Ghost pokymanz.
39. Mudkipz: it's what's for dinner, tonight.
40. All Pokemon that learn Explosion should have Explosion. No exceptions.
41. OHNOEZ! It's Wobbufett.
42. SkarmBliss, your mother, and a rabbi. The ultimate team.
43. Their Arceus was haxed. No exceptions.
44. Bluescreens cause T I M E P A R A D O X.
45. No Ubers, no hax, no voice chat, no OUs, no BLs, no UUs, no NUs, no DS. Final Destination.
46. Mudkip wins; Flawless Victory.
47. Everyone's gay for Bridget Lucario.
48. Venusaur will ALWAYS be taking in sunlight. No exceptions.
49. If it exists, Seaking has yet to deal with it. Fuck yeah.
50. Pinsir will NEVER step out of Heracross's shadow.
51. It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the Hydro Pump again.
52. Minun without Plusle will ALWAYS get raped up the ass, and vice versa.
53. If your team exists, then it is vulnerable to Trick Room. No Exceptions.
54. If you are using Baton Pass, you WILL get P-hazed/Hazed.
55. EXTREAMSPEED. NO EXCEPTIONS.
56. Weather teams ALWAYS phail to Obamasnow/Tyrant-tar.
57. In double battles, your opponent WILL have a Darkrai-Kyogre combo.
58.Clefable will ALWAYS have Magic Guard. No Exceptions.
59. Smeargle WILL find some way to explode on you. No Exceptions.
60. Metronome is NEVER in your favor. No exceptions.
61. There will ALWAYS be dirty nicknames. ALWAYS.
62. If no ubers exist, then let them eat Garchomp.
63. If it's at level 100, Rare Candies WERE used to get it there. No Exceptions.
64. Effectiveness=(metronome)x(choice item)^2
65. Wrap, Bind and Constrict are ALWAYS innuendos. No Exceptions.
66. Everstone works on all pokemon. The exception is Seaking.
67. If you have a Focus Sash, your opponent WILL use Stealth Rock. No exceptions.
68. Marowak:Thick Club::Clefable:Magic Guard. No Exceptions.
69. OHKO moves WILL phail on Bidoof, and Bidoof only. Everything else is fair game.
70. Give me Blissey or give me death. No exceptions.
71. Earthquake. No Exceptions.
72. There will NEVER be a mono-flying type. No Exceptions, as Arceus is ALWAYS haxed.
73. Tinted Lens WILL rape you.
74. You just looked up what Tinted Lens does. No Exceptions.
75. CM'Cune will always be owned by Hax. No Exceptions.
76. f you set up, you will die. No Exceptions.
77. Electrode WILL Taunt you. No Exceptions.
78. Electrode WILL Explode. No Exceptions.
79. Bronzong will ALWAYS be ruined by Taunt. No Exceptions.
80. Whitney's Miltank WILL fuck you up.
81. Clair was hot, no exceptions.
82. Gold. Silver. Crystal. Enough said.
83. Buying Slowpoke Tails makes you a terrible person.
84. lolkurt
85. Jasmine will not bitch about you beating her.
86. Nazil has 3-4kg of acid in his system

YAY

This is fun.

I did the emox one.

Dunspare is the best pokemon. Live with it, or he'll kill you.

Cute pokemon are weak. No exceptions.

Machamp is always named Jebus. No exceptions.

ok ppl!
10. Emo X always loses. No excpetions.
i dont always lose!
sometimes i win agaisnt ma friends and they have really good teams.
and those rules are n00bish phailure except for the wonder guard sableye won that rox!

Yes. Add one saying emo x is always wrong as well.

You winning vs. people who don't know what evs are doesn't count fool.

There's always a bigger fish, and it's name is Seaking.

If you can't understand what your pokemon is saying when it says 'Pika-pika!' you are a horrible, heartless trainer.

Jewz break wi-fi.

Male Gardevoir must ALWAYS have "Show Cock" as their main attack. It's 4x against all types. Seaking is the exception.

Lucario is ALWAYS gay.

Every time you slaughter a cute PokéMon, a Goldeen becomes a Seaking.

The connection is NEVER "lost"

No one expects the CB Jirachi Inquisition!

and

Garchomp always wins. No exceptions.

You DO liek mudkip. No exceptions.

Splash owns you. Deal with it.

Sagehawk always wins.

Suen always wins.

Sage always wins.

.... wtf OMG YOU ARE ALL BREAKING THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT RULES! IM SUPPOSED TO WIN NOT YOU!



*GROWL*

Added the worthy ones. Someone pin this.

Meh, I liked my jebus one.

There is no such thing as a big bones snorlax. Like you, they are always fat. Always.

Pakry you suck at these.

Meh, i do not.

I suck at making pokemon ones.

At ones that have to do with being mean, i'm rather good at.

Added rules 28 and 29.

Hidden Power is ALWAYS haxed

Machamp ALWAYS has all OHKO moves. No ex.

Whenever you suggest a counter to something, remember that there are always three layers of spikes, two layers of toxic spikes, and stealth rock up plus a sandstorm is brewing. No exceptions.

[Your Pokemon]'s attack missed! No exceptions.

[Your Pokemon] fainted! No exceptions.

But it failed. No exceptions.

In tall grass, a wild Seaking will ALWAYS appear. Because Seaking is coming for you.

False Swipe is the only 100% accurate OHKO move.

Any pokemon with a 31 in any stat is HAX. No Excepshans.

Spinda. Do I need to explain more?

A Luvdisc Tackle is the ultimate counter to every Ghost pokymanz.

Mudkipz: it's what's for dinner, tonight.

Squirtle makes the best soup.

If you use the mic., you are gay. No exceptions.