The Family Blender

Shine wrote:Plentiful typos aside (well, not plentiful), it's well-written, and like all good short stories, the characters have surprising depth unraveled through descriptive yet brief story telling techniques.

Sagechild wrote:

Shine wrote:Plentiful typos aside (well, not plentiful), it's well-written, and like all good short stories, the characters have surprising depth unraveled through descriptive yet brief story telling techniques.

Typos?

Sagechild wrote:Dude, I wrote it at 2 AM. XD

Shine wrote:

Sagechild wrote:Dude, I wrote it at 2 AM. XD

I'm sure you did, but I'm just letting you know that there are some typos you oughta go through and fix, that's all.

Sagechild wrote:

Shine wrote:

Sagechild wrote:Dude, I wrote it at 2 AM. XD

I'm sure you did, but I'm just letting you know that there are some typos you oughta go through and fix, that's all.

Now that you said it, you've brought the peer edit needs on yourself.

Shine wrote:

Sagechild wrote:

Shine wrote:

Sagechild wrote:Dude, I wrote it at 2 AM. XD

I'm sure you did, but I'm just letting you know that there are some typos you oughta go through and fix, that's all.

Now that you said it, you've brought the peer edit needs on yourself.

... T___T

Fine. XD

Spoiler:

Suen wrote:twisted desire much? (minus the boyfriend and killing parents ... + a step sister)

good though... but GOD WHY DID YOU USE MY NAME!!!??? everyone has it! ... grrr....

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:twisted desire much? (minus the boyfriend and killing parents ... + a step sister)

good though... but GOD WHY DID YOU USE MY NAME!!!??? everyone has it! ... grrr....

I used your name specifically BECAUSE it's so common.

The location and characters are supposed to be able to be placed anywhere, really.

Suen wrote:

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:twisted desire much? (minus the boyfriend and killing parents ... + a step sister)

good though... but GOD WHY DID YOU USE MY NAME!!!??? everyone has it! ... grrr....

I used your name specifically BECAUSE it's so common.

The location and characters are supposed to be able to be placed anywhere, really.

<.<

Sagechild wrote:Chapter One - Introductions

Sarah, contrary to what her sky blue eyes may have suggested, was not a calm girl. She was a composed girl, a collected girl, a smart girl, but not a calm girl. Sarah Ann Johnson was not what one would call hyper, or energetic, or lively even. The word most used to describe her, in fact, was electric. She was the kind of girl who wrote scripts to make sure she said what she needed to in phone calls, got all of her homework in on time, and had a room that would impress any white-gloved military personnel.

Sarah had her perfect life, living with her mother in a rather large, comfortable, and well decorated country house somewhere close to suburbia. She got nice grades, although not perfect, which stressed her to no end, but she knew they'd at least get her a small scholarship to a nicer college, and her mom's nursing salary, her savings, and the college fund her grandparents had started for her would be enough to get her through her 4 years for something. Sarah had a car that wasn't amazing. It was newer, though, and it got her from place to place. She worked at a local book store for a bit higher than minimum wage, which she enjoyed. She had no luck with boys, but she was holding out for college to change that.

Then, as Sarah said "Like something that could only come from the mind of Stephen King," her mother, Tori Ann Johnson, gotten engaged to Johnathan Francis Smith, a wonderfully nice man who worked in a law firm. This didn't bother Sarah. The thing that bothered Sarah was the fact that he had a daughter her age named Amanda Jean Smith who went to her high school.

Amanda contrasted to her fiery red hair by being a wonderfully calm girl, maybe not as collected as she should be, but she rolled with the punches, and came out fine. Amanda was the type of girl who would surprise you with unscheduled visits, and would drink a beer, or hit a joint if they were around, not going overboard, but fun was always a good thing. She was a bit messy, and her grades were maybe lower than they should have been, but, hey, she could get where she wanted to.

When she found out about the marriage, she was only slightly less dismayed then Sarah, screaming "Daddy, how could you spoil this for me!?"

Amanda's "this" was her variation on the teenage dream. A comfortably decorated and messy loft in the city, within walking distance of her school, workplace, and boyfriend's house, along with a dog that they'd have to get rid of due to Sarah's allergies. She hadn't even met the girl, and already she hated her with a passion. She was not looking forward to her forced meeting with what she began to call "the thing," paying special attention to not capitalise it, as that would be acknowledging “it” as human.

The day came, though, sooner than either of the girls had wished. Tori aptly described what transpired that day in a later conversation with her mother. "To say my Sarah and his little Amanda clashed would be putting it much too mildly. In fact, the only reason I think we didn't see Sarah's blonde hair flying around and Amanda's hazel eyes being gouged out is because we were there!"



Chapter 2 - The Blending Process

The day of Tori and Johnathan's wedding came and went, and though their parents urged them to, the girls didn't speak to each other, or much of anyone for that matter. Sarah had memorised a script with an obligatory response if Amanda did happen to speak to her, but no such event passed, and the girls gave everyone the cold shoulder, so much so that someone remarked that it must be the girls keeping those ice sculptures from completely melting, not the cold front that had blown in that day, much to everyone's amusement.

John and Tori made the practical decision to live in her house, as she had the room. Both of the girls knew this was going to happen. They had even been forewarned, both responding that knowing in advance didn't make them like the fact that they have to "deal with that until college."

The move went as most moves go, minor mishaps causing major drama, and, inevitably, pairs of socks lost their matches forever. Amanda cried as she gave Rex to her grandmother and said to him, though it was really herself she was talking to, "We'll get them, don't you worry, she'll pay for being allergic to you!"

And pay Sarah did. Immediately after the move, Amanda set out to look for ways to get to Sarah. She did nothing else in her spare time but find ways to torment her new enemy, losing her boyfriend, and letting her grades slip more, but none of these mattered so long as Sarah suffered, which she did, though not without getting back at Amanda from time to time.

Sarah and Amanda fought constantly, sometimes even getting physical. Their parents brought them to psychologists, who commented that the girls were well adjusted to the change, but resisting it with every fiber of their respective personalities, and that it would easily resolve itself in time.

Feeling assured, Tori and John finalised the plans for their honeymoon, which they had been delaying because of the girls' immaturity. They announced this, and got the swift, and melodramatic cry of "You can't leave me alone with her! Why are you doing this to me!? You hate me!" from both girls.


Chapter 3 - Breaking Point

The day after the honeymoon began (John and Tori had scheduled it over the school's Spring Break, in an act of genius), Amanda found something out that made her work to torment Sarah more. Rex had died trying to go back to her old house.

Sadness quickly turned to rage.

She found Sarah's scripts for her phone calls, and her diary. Seizing the opportunity, Amanda scanned them all, putting them on the school's website for everyone to see, putting Sarah's mobile number with it. She used Sarah's biggest insecurities, Sarah's chubbiness and shyness, in contrast to her well-proportioned, shapely body and outgoing manner to torment her more.

Amanda knew she crossed boundaries she never thought she would cross, attempting to break Sarah. Somewhere in her mind, she knew if she would have stopped to think too much about it, she would have felt horrible guilty, but Amanda, retaining part of her easy going self, managed to avoid those feelings, even when she'd hear Sarah bawling on the other side of the wall, she just turned the music up.

Amanda had been working at Sarah all week, but the climax of her plan was the night before John and Tori's honeymoon ended. She crept into the darkness of her stepsister's room, tools in hand. She looked around, realising it was much messier than when she had first seen it, though she quickly dismissed it, assuming Tori had just made her daughter clean the room to make a good presentation for the new family.

"Never mind that, Amanda," she whispered to herself, creeping along steadily towards Sarah's bed, not noticing the sudden tensing of Sarah's body as the floor groaned loudly, once, twice. "The bitch is getting what's coming to her tonight, and I know she'll never be the same after this. She doesn't deserve nice treatment anyway," Amanda quietly whispered as she reached her stepsister's bed.

Rising over Sarah's bed, she paused to think to herself, looking up "That's an awful strange position to be sleeping in," before briefly screaming, and quickly having that cut off. She felt the hands dig into her neck, and gasped for air, not getting any.

The last words Amanda Jean Smith heard were in the cracking voice voice of her stepsister.

"You think I didn't hear you, silly?"


Epilogue - Calm

Sarah Ann Johnson never used to be a calm girl, and, in fact, people used to describe her very tense, but collected nature "Electric."

Paging through her journal, Sarah analyses the events that led up her new, calm demeanour emerging. She chuckles as she sees the last script for a phone call she ever wrote, the one to the local police after her sister had died, and the newspaper articles, with the most notable headline being "Local Girl Acquitted of All Charges in Murder Case."

She laughed as she saw a set of mock journal entries detailing her return home to see her house broken into, ransacked, and her beloved stepsister found dead in her room. She even remembered how she had acted stricken and traumatised, clinging to her step-father for support the second he came in, and tearfully apologising that she hadn't been there to save his daughter.

Sarah now has the perfect life. A loving mother, and step-father, and an amazing boyfriend, who she had at met grieving at her stepsister's funeral. As her legs lead her off of the college campus, and towards a group of homeless people burning things in oil barrels for warmth on the chill fall night, Sarah thinks out loud "Thank you for pushing me Amanda, I love you, more than you'll ever know."

Sarah Ann speeds up her walk, knowing she could easily catch chill if she's out for too long, because she isn't properly dressed, and arrives in the square where the beautifully bountiful flames leap from barrels. Sarah throws the journal into the flames, watching it slowly get consumed by the most beautiful fire she's ever seen. Looking around at the appreciative eyes of the derelict peoples she had just helped, if only a bit.

Sarah smiles at them warmly.

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:twisted desire much? (minus the boyfriend and killing parents ... + a step sister)

good though... but GOD WHY DID YOU USE MY NAME!!!??? everyone has it! ... grrr....

I used your name specifically BECAUSE it's so common.

The location and characters are supposed to be able to be placed anywhere, really.

<.<

You asked.

Suen wrote:

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:

Sagechild wrote:

Suen wrote:twisted desire much? (minus the boyfriend and killing parents ... + a step sister)

good though... but GOD WHY DID YOU USE MY NAME!!!??? everyone has it! ... grrr....

I used your name specifically BECAUSE it's so common.

The location and characters are supposed to be able to be placed anywhere, really.

<.<

You asked.

I was more like complaining... but... what ev...

Tobi wrote:So.....any morw to the story?

Or is this it?